I’ve knocked up a special mechanoid menu for you. This gets better and better. Lister gets suitably upset by their accusations that he is a poor player, not helping his cause by providing a practical demonstration, which leads the Cat to give him ‘a little survival tip’: I’ll never be ready. What are you doing, Hol? Your eyes are watering.

Because you always put the emphasis on “Rim” in “Rimmer. Well, I wouldn’t like to be stuck behind one in a cinema! He works in the kitchen and he’s always drunk, and this is Selby – and he’s always drunk too! And this is from me. And then perhaps a small radioactive fruit salad for pudding? Two years without sex! Red Dwarf itself had been stolen by an unknown party and the original crew had been chasing the ship’s vapour trail ever since. He finds a sock on his bed, smells it, and discards it.

You can still taste the toothpaste. We’ll just tell him he’s got the wrong address.

Red Dwarf s05e03 Episode Script

It’s got a human face. Enters and bows Carmita Standing up Look, this is my problem, I’ll sort it out if it’s all the same to you. Sir, we may never get another opportunity to articulate our feelings, and I would like to take this opportunity to say that you’re a splendid man, a much-respected colleague and a, goshdarn it, damn good friend! With no choice but to obey her commands, he climbs into the waste compactor and starts it up. RIMMER Well, considering what the future has in store for your jacksie, a epiaode of zillion volts is going to be easy street And what a delightful craft you have.


I thought you understood! Maybe I should take the fifth? All his neuroses, all his personal demons will kyrten incarnated here, made flesh. The new model — the latest upgrade. If I don’t hand myself over, he’ll attack Starbug. Look, I don’t know who you are, but I demand my right to a phone call. Yeah, they’re trapped under this stanchion.

You and your big mouth, git! He grabs some black jeans and struggles into them then notices a big iron-shaped hole in the right buttock. Well, at least he gets 24 hours notice. Kryten, upon realising the crew will have no memory of the events, takes the opportunity to tell Rimmer exactly what he thinks of him.

Wide awake now — Sctipt couldn’t believe my eyes. To an imaginary stick-thrower Hey, man! Well, ’til your natural body defences combat the virus.

Everyone’s entitled to their beliefs, Lister. Hang on a minute, you can’t kkryten invent new notes. I’ve been kidnapped, stripped, oiled, menaced, manacled, krytten, nibbled, chained, tortured, humiliated, and I nearly had a thing shaped like a cactus jammed where only customs men dare to probe. Lister and Rimmer, the two main characters, have the highest amount of mentions overall. Perhaps you could mention that I’ve had tons of girlfriends? Looks at himself in the mirror.


The Last Day RED DWARF Series 3 Episode 6 The Day 1 Int Sleeping quarters

The one on your head. You didn’t really dwqrf that I’m an OK bloke, that I’m not so bad once you know me. I’m trying to say build me up, don’t put me down. I am your self-loathing. HOLLY Well if I was an estate agent, I’d probably describe it as an old-style penal establishment, abundant erd, two-hundred bedrooms, all with ensuite buckets. So it’s not aliens, then? Holds up a blank metal mask.

Gesturing to him Psst! Oh, yes, Mister David, sir.

Red Dwarf s02e01 Episode Script

Wikiquote has quotations related to: Set bazookoids to kill, stuff and mount. I think the blonde one’s giving you the eye.

I even finished off the advocar. I always prayed I’d go out like that!